Just crush me up some Xanax and put it in my drink.

I just finished a fun size Tootsie Roll. Before that it was the half a bag of M&M's. I'm contemplating opening up a bag of chocolate chips, but I know that could only lead to my oldest coming home from school to find her mother passed out on the sofa, empty bag beside her and chocolate all over her face.

It is only 1:30pm. Today's list of insanity included:

• Bolting out of bed when I heard Daddy's Girl mention, "Spring pictures are today." Dear heavens, you have to get everything just right from the neck up or hear about how her best friend was dressed sooooo cute.

• Getting in the car and realizing that I only have 3 miles worth of gas, I'm not wearing a coat and it's in the mid-20's today. (Plus I had that Alice Cooper-just-rolled-out-of-bed-smeared-eyeliner thing going on.)

• Getting the "babies" dressed and ready for a Dr. visit and the "bag packed." (Because packing a bag for the waiting period is way different than say, packing for a restaurant or packing for church. Each has its own list of ammunition. Am I right ladies?)

• Getting my self dressed. (Which wasn't overly complicated since I wore exactly what I wore last night.)

• Hearing the sound of metal clanking, while checking FB and e-mail, and finding Little Prince and Sunshine in the bathroom with a spoon laying in the bottom of the toilet as Little Prince stirs the water with Daddy's Girl's toothpaste tube. Both children had wet hands...both guilty. Which also meant I must change their jackets, since I already had them dressed down to the fleeces to protect them from the bitter cold. (Two lessons from this: 1.) If you get on the internet while your children are awake, God will punish you. 2.) Never try to get ahead by getting your children dressed early. It's pointless.)

• Getting to the Dr. fifteen minutes early. In this case, it is a bad thing. You know you are going to wait an hour anyway. Now it is a guaranteed hour and fifteen minutes wait with two toddlers.

• Sunshine getting not 1, 2 or even 3 shots/sticks, but 5! That's right, five. What a great day to be her or her mother holding her down.

Do you really want to read more? I'm gonna keep going...

• Having to take away Sunshine's first sucker because she laid it on a seat. (I'm sorry, but it is flu season.) Then having to take away Sunshine's second sucker, right before they stuck her again, because she laid it down on the little armrest where they take everyone's blood. But even better, being the recipient of the nurses' judgmental scowls for taking away the sucker (crawling with germs) which made them have to listen to her scream for oh, all of 3 minutes. (They would never last in my world.)

• Watching Little Prince fall on the sidewalk outside the Dr.'s office, scraping his hands and losing HIS second sucker. (I swear I am buying a bag of DumDums to keep in my purse.)

• Getting home and finding only and O'Douls in the refrigerator. (I think you hear me.)

All this said, I know how blessed I am to have my precious life and the dear ones in it. So, I'll skip the chocolate chips for now, but you can bet I'm having a good glass of vino tonight!