Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Seriously, are you serious?

I'm exhausted. It is ten minutes after 1pm and I'm just flat out pooped.

I really don't like the last three or four days before Christmas. I love from Thanksgiving till the 19th and adore Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but these few days when I have a list a mile long and absolutely not enough time in the day I dislike.

So today was "get it done or quit day." I had a few things I had to get done or it was pointless for me to even begin. So, as you may or may not know, when you have little ones you must plan carefully for "errand day." This was my first mistake. A lack of planning. You see, the our little tribe is down to one automobile. And the 4-wheeled chariot that I speak of is not ours it is a rental. And it is not just a rental. It is the "my insurance will cover only up to $30 per day, gimme the $30 car" car. A Dodge Charger (shiny rims not included).

Now , I have to admit, there is more room in this little coupe than one would imagine. In fact, if it wouldn't be wrong and the kids could ride in the enormous trunk, we'd be set. However, three children, ages seven and under, with carseats all jammed, er, I mean lined up in the back seat is another blog in itself. Which reminds me, I'm off track.

So I got up this morning (late) because I didn't plan and got the kids breakfast started. Breakfast that consisted of leftover french bread from last night that I sliced and covered with butter, cinnamon and sugar. Fixed Daddy's Girl's lunch and got everyone dressed temperature appropriate. Got myself dressed, haven't had a shower since Sunday, but dressed, face washed and teeth and hair brushed out of the bit of consideration I have left for others. Made sure to grab wallet and phone and concealer/mascara/lash curler(I mean really!). Kid's bag had diapers and wipes in it (score!) and I filled and packed 2 sippee cups! Yea me!

So the entire tribe heads to car. "Do you have house keys?" "DG get in the car." "Sit still." etc. etc. etc. And we are off, Christmas music playing. Drop DG off at school. "love you have a great day." Drive Mr. W to Daddy Dome where he has to go in to get something for me. "I wanna go with Daddy!" After stating he couldn't get things done with Little Prince, he quickly saw the error of his statement and took LP with him (without my prodding or daggers from my eyes-thankyouverymuch.) Sunshine and I sit in car and wait and soon LP and Daddy return and we are off again.

Hot rod is almost out of gas. I did remember to grab cash from the Ramsey-friendly cash folder and so we stop. Lock kids in car (did I?) and take cash in. Pump and we're off. Went to the church for a quick stop where LP was entertained by our pastor and a impromptu call from "Santa." Had to use the laminator so I barracaded our little crew in the work room and gave LP the carpet sweeper, which he kept picking up and "placing" on the carpet so that the crap in it kept falling out. But they were pretty well behaved and we finished and headed out to the car. Got in and off to Kinkos.

Arrived at Kinko's where I quickly sidestepped the shady man with crazy hair that decided to watch my son rummage through the candy bin. The sweet man who always helps me (sans children) took my instructions and I walked around the store SS on hip and LP surprisingly content to point out everything he saw instead of pushing it to the floor. Sweet man had to ask several questions about binding the booklet I had given him. He obviously didn't catch the "I could care less if it is even or flush or perfect--bind it quickly before little man here passes the point of no return" tone in my voice. (By the way--UPS just arrived, all our Christmas packages are home!) So anyway, we got finished and LP almost knocked over the card rack on our way out, but we made it.

A quick run through the drive-thru at the bank and we are off to Target where we pick up a few last minute things for Christmas (you know the stuff you have to shove under the buggy undetected). Of course when we get in there we must wipe down the buggy with the Purell wipes that brilliant customer service people leave buckets of at the entrance (I love you!). We get our items and it is last stop to pick up our 4--that's all--4 pictures for sweet Granny down in Floridy! Get the envelope, pay for all my items ("look over there LP") and head out. Wait, no card for Granny. Ugh! We'll have to get one and go back through the checkout. No big deal. So I stop to look through my precious pictures before we pick out a card. Awwww, LP, the kids with Santa, SS.....Daddy's Girl? Where is DG's pic? Turn around, back to the counter. Gotta call E-the photo lady. E is working on a chemical spill. E shows up (not washing her hands-yikes) and explains that she can try to resend it, but they are backed up and it will take about an hour to an hour and a half. Seriously? I didn't loose my cool, although LP and SS were beginning to loose theirs since it was lunch time and I forgot to grab the well-packed bag off the kitchen table. "Do you have the original with you?" "Yeah, in the car." "You can print it at the 'instant-picture-station'(my words) if you want." "OK." Back out to the car. Get USB dealy and back into Target. I decided I'd get the change in my purse and get the kiddos some popcorn to munch while we picked out a card and it would be ok. So I go in, print photo, go sanitize hands, into the snack place...no popcorn. Are you serious?!!! Forget it. No popcorn, no card, no post office trip...probably no Christmas gifts on time. Home to feed two fussy, sleepy, spent children and one fed-up mom. Now we're fed, they are sleeping and I'm going to wrap my UPS deliveries! Merry Christmas to all!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Only 15 minutes left

Monday is almost over and I'm about to miss another day of my self-proclaimed 25 days of blogging. Don't have much to tell today. My Little Prince has RSV. Sweet Sunshine has another ear infection (anyone see tubes in her future?). And the Camry needs a new motor. I think I'll get Mr. Wonderful fuzzy dice while were at it.

Went to Walgreens (no hypnotic music playing like in the commercial), but as I wandered the aisles I thought...
...I think I might look like an exotic dancer if I used the Bumpit (from the neck up I mean).
...Fake Drakar? Really? If you are still using Drakar at this point, I say spring for the real stuff.
...This box cutter laying open on the shelf is really not a good idea. Especially with all the pseudoephedrines lining the pharmacy shelf behind the very low wall that could easily be jumped by a junkie with a box cutter. (I promptly delivered it to the lady behind the photo counter.)
...I wonder if I could be a silver if I washed with that rinse in shampoo? Just for a day or so.

Anyway, that's about it as I sit here by my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree and tap out my blog. Wow! Ten minutes left...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Watch for an Mr. Wonderful on a burro

Not really sure if there will be a transplant of large automotive vitals or a burial of our tried and true Camry.  But tonight what we have feared for quite some time has happened.  It died.  So now, we wait.  It's not a big surprise, mind you.  The precious hunk of metal has over 250,000 miles on it, but now?  Seriously?

In other news, it looks like both of the little ones may also have pneumonia.  So tomorrow morning means a trip with both of them to the Dr. in order to get a diagnosis and/or catch the swine flu.  Daddy's Girl has to prepare and teach a lesson to her class on French Christmas traditions on Wednesday and the way things are going I'm feeling like a visit to the French Quarter might be the best way to research.  Can I get a witness?! Christmas decorations are still laying all over the floors and how the boxes will make it to the attic, I just couldn't tell ya, but they have to because I'm having a party for Un Chaz's graduation on Saturday.  

Now at this point of the rant I have a few choices:
1.  Turn it into a meaningful, thought provoking reflection on how these things work to make us stronger,
2. Bitch and moan some more, or
3. Find a way to put a funny little anecdote in here to make it less awkward for you to read.

I think I'll go with 4.  Let you end it however you wish.  Gnight all.  

Friday, December 4, 2009

Thanks Dear Mr. Darcy

Dear Ms. Austen, 
I apologize.  "Mr. Darcy" quickly corrected my spelling.  It went something like this:

"Hey Mr. D, have you read my blog today?" (Because I'm always looking for his approval.)
"Here, read it."
"It's E-N, not I-N."
"I'm going for content."  "How come when I make a comment about the fact that you put a fancy rose-colored satin trimmed onesie on our daughter with a very casual salmon romper you get all offended.  And yet I'm not supposed to be upset when the first thing you say about me putting myself out there for the world to see is that I misspelled something.  One of us is going to have to not be offended.  I'm gonna say you."

Then Darcy laughed and hugged me.  Me with an "e" not "i."  

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Day 2-Part B

I don't understand why I can't just move forward.  Why I stand (or sit) frozen in fear unable to simply indicate what I want  and stand by that decision?  It absolutely horrifies me.  And I feel like I won't be able to enjoy the holidays until I can come to grips with my demons.

What is it that I'm grappling with?  Online Christmas shopping.

The prospect of billions of Christmas gift possibilities, coupled with the fact that I am quite possibly one of the cheapest women around (save your comments), has made internet shopping the equivalent of mental Novocaine to me.  I have gotten to the point that I can put items into my cart, however, the thought of actually purchasing the items is beyond my capabilities.  

"What if I could find it cheaper on one of those weird black-market like websites that everyone seems to know by heart but me?"

"Have I really thought about what I'm buying or is it just the thrill of having a package come to my house that I'm so gung-ho about?"

I seriously am physically uncomfortable after having "browsed" Old Navy, Gap and the Children's Place for crying out loud!  And that's another thing, I get upset with the fact that these stores are right down the freaking road from my house.   So I debate the value of time saved and not having to bundle up "the babies" and drag them out into the cold and the swine flu versus the cost of shipping (remember, I'm cheap.)

And shouldn't I know of cooler places to shop?  Everyone else finds stuff on ebay or some cutesy little kids site that is so much more original than mass-produced mall fashion.  Doesn't the world deserve to see that my kids have personality and style?!!!

Anyway, maybe I will overcome this fear and loathing.  Maybe I will be able to do the rest of my Christmas shopping from the warmth and comfort of my humble home.  Maybe the anxiety will subside before midnight so I can get a decent nights rest.  Happy shopping.

Day 2

"Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised, or a little mistaken." Jane Austin

I love this quote. I am a person who loves the truth and struggles with wanting to be completely honest and yet getting to complete transparency with others is a frightening prospect. (had to stop, take Little Prince to potty, get stars and "tweats," start "Go, Potty, Go" and grab a second cup of coffee. Back to writing. What was I saying, oh yeah.") This tendency is most likely the reason that I have stopped and started writing so many times. After writing a few lines, I tend to look at it going, "Is that really the way it is or do I just want to seem like that is how it is?" Most people wouldn't think twice about it and maybe everyone is truly transparent. But now that I have posted Ms. Austin's "disclaimer" perhaps I can be a little more free with my blogs (although that could be scary!). I guess the question is "how much honesty do people really want?"

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

On the first day of Christmas blogging...

Ok, I'm gonna blog every day for 25 days and hope it gets me past this writer's constipation I have. Seriously, I can't pass a thought. I feel like there's something to say, but I sit in front of this screen and write and delete and frankly am getting tired of that.

So who knows what will happen...

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