Day 10

To say that our tribe is in a state of flux would just flat-out be an understatement.

We have been in situations of uncertainty before
and always emerge through God's grace just fine,
so that part of this doesn't really bug me.

What I do have the predisposition towards is jumping the gun
or becoming impatient at having to withhold my jumping of said gun.

For example, this summer we had both our roof replaced and our exterior woodwork painted. (This had been a long time coming believe me!)
This set me on a rampage of FINALLY doing some "interior decorating"
(translated in the loosest way possible-not loose like perverted, just...oh never mind).
If you have been to my house you are probably thinking, "Oh hallalujah! It has only been eight years that you have been living in that house and although you have been married for about 14 years, you pretty much decorate like a college sophomore."
And if you have not been to my house, you just cannot imagine.

So, I was ready to go! And then, (insert the sound of screeching brakes) God changed our direction. Which He has every right to do so. However, I am now in a state of limbo, wanting to paint those walls, but knowing that the wise thing to do is hold on to any extra cash.

I would like to work on my blog. It needs a little beautification and update,
but see, Mr. Wonderful is here everyday
and I feel a little more guilty if he sees me playing on the computer vs. something
that might actually contribute to the overall well-being of our household.

There is also the question of "will we stay or will we go?"
If we stay here there are lots of things to do, most wonderful friends and family to be near
and things in which I'd love to be involved.
If we go, well...that's just exciting!
It seems like many of our friends and family have been scattered
most everywhere around the fifty-nifty
and I have never lived outside of my home state
and would sort of like to see what life is like elsewhere.

But right now is silence. And stillness. And day-to-day.
And I'm not very good at
silent,
still,
small pictures.
I'm much more a
noisy,
boisterous,
big picture person.

So this is where I am supposed to grow right now...
...learning to sit and be content picking up books and toys
in a family room that I definitely want to give a long-overdue facelift.
...loving on those people God has put in my everyday
instead of wondering and planning all the things I could do
with and for those people I might come in contact with in the future.
...growing in my understanding of how to love my husband,
here...in our home...everyday...all day...together,
instead of that weekend away we were planning before our plans were changed.

Who knows where we will end up and who knows when we will know.
Until then, life around here remains ever entertaining
with conversations like the one with Little Prince this afternoon:
LP: "I'm still hungry."
Me: "What do you think you want?"
LP: "Food."

Seriously, whose kids are these anyway?